Guest Post! A History of the Wedding Dress by Heidi Stouder

You guys! I have been having TOO much fun these past couple weeks getting acquainted with St. Augustine and all it's beautiful people. I've been meeting lots of kind people, like sweet Mrs. Smith at the coffee shop who let me go first in line because she could tell I was there for a meeting and she "didn't have anywhere important to be." How sweet is that?!? I feel like I'm back in Boone all over again!

Well, one of my favorite new people, Heidi, was gracious enough to give me the run down of the wedding industry down here and we had a blast this afternoon as I took a few quick head shots for her in the parking lot of her new office space at Endless Possibilities!

When I was checking out her website the other day I discovered this blog she wrote recently and knew immediately I HAD to have it! I realized immediately I didn't know the answer to the question of why we wear white wedding dresses and her discovery fascinated me. It's not been around for thousands of years like I'd supposed, the answer might surprise you too! Check it out below!

I just had the opportunity to experience the grand adventure of trying on wedding gowns.

It sparked my curiosity on "when did the wedding dress fad even start?" "Have brides always wanted to wear white, or was that even an option for most?"

So I brewed some coffee and stat down to read any information I could find on the subject.

I wasn't surprised to read that there is little to no information on the subject. What you can find out, is wedding dress colors and styles pertaining to what culture you were raised in.

Like how most Eastern cultures wore red, a symbol of favored fortune.

Wedding dresses have changed drastically throughout history, but the earliest information on Western culture, dates back to the Middle ages. Brides were expected to dress in the manner that befitted their social status.

Wealthy families wore rich colors, exclusive fabrics, furs, velvet and silks. The poorest brides wore their best church dress they had.  But when did the white wedding dress become the fashion?

The first documented white wedding gown was worn by Philippa of England, in 1406.  She sported a white silk tunic with a cloak trimmed in grey squirrel fur.  Defiantly not PETA approved.

Then the next bride we find out about is Mary Queen of Scots.  She wore white in 1559, at the time the French style, was to wear white if you were in mourning. It just so happened that Mary Queen of Scots was marrying Francis II of France.  Kinda makes you think is was a subtle way of stating how she felt about the union.

The white wedding gown didn't come into fashion till the Victorian era when Queen Victoria wore white in 1840.   Wearing white had a rough start.  White was a very hard color to come by and to keep clean.  White was a sign of social status and still only used by the wealthy from 1840's through the 1920's.  Due to the depression, WWI and WWII, wedding dresses again became what the bride had on hand, such as church clothes or borrowed dresses from a family member or friend.  After WWII the white wedding gown's, like we see today, made its smashing hit and come back with Grace Kelly in 1956.

Wedding dresses truly reflect a bride's personality as well as the theme of the wedding.  More and more you will see brides are incorporating color back into the wedding dress. However, I feel that the white/Ivory gown will stand the test of time and remain the most sought after gown color for years to come.

Thank you so much Heidi for sharing your findings!! Cannot wait to work with you on our first wedding this spring!! 

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If you liked this post, you will probably also like: The Vendor Series or How to Choose Bridesmaids Dresses

Jenelle and Billy Trash the Dress at Vilano Beach

“You don’t have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring!”

— Lumière, Beauty and the Beast

Oh my goodness! Where in the world do I begin! There simply was not a better way for Jenelle and Billy to top off their fairy tale wedding than a trip to Disney and an EPIC trash the dress session on their way home!  

I seriously cannot express how much I adore these sessions. I wish I was clever enough to come up with a different title for it because it frequently scares people away, but they are THE MOST FUN SESSIONS EVER! Maybe that's what I'll call it from now on. :)

You cannot look at the smiles on their faces and think it was boring in any way. We all were laughing til our sides were hurting! One of my favorite moments was when I was taking a shot of Jenelle with my back to the ocean and apparently a giant wave was about to take out all our stuff and Billy dived to "save the photographer's stuff" and neglected his own shoes (which were holding his phone). We had to give him a hard time because I had all the important stuff in my backpack, he just saved my step stool and towel. Totally heroic effort though Billy! Love you!

The schnanigans were in full swing as we didn't have to worry about their clothes (or mine), we basically just had to keep the camera out of the water. These two ran, danced, jumped and played their way down the coast line as we chased the sunset.

This might be my favorite set of outtakes ever... I'll let you decide who started it and who won ;) 

(The answer is BOTH of them. Both started it, and both won. They are the perfect match through and through). 

Now for the romance...

Jenelle and Billy you two are ROCKSTARS! Thank you so much for coming to Viola's for lunch with us and just being SO freaking fun! If California keeps acquiring our favorite people, a move may be in store...just sayin... Congratulations on the rest of forever! 

Barclay Villa Wedding | Jenelle + Billy

“Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step”

— Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens

You guys! This was a fairytale wedding for the history books, complete with Princess and Castle! Billy even proposed to Jenelle in front of the Sleeping Beauty Castle in Disneyland, CA!

When we first met, Jenelle shared some stories about their relationship and how she really loves all things Disney. She said she used to keep the High School Musical Soundtrack in her car and whenever Billy would drive it, he would cue the CD to play "Can I have this Dance" for the next time she got in because it was her favorite. How sweet is that?!?! Oh my goodness what a keeper!! 

Also, Billy told Jenelle that the song that played in his head when he was getting up the nerve to kiss her for the first time was "Kiss the Girl" from the Little Mermaid. First of all, that a song was even playing in his head is adorable, but that it was a disney song to match her style just gives me ALLL the feels! I love that he just steps right into her fairytale and owns his role as Prince Charming! Jenelle actually surprised HIM by having the DJ play the song during the ceremony's first kiss as well! SO fun! 

 During the ceremony they did a "hand-fastening ceremony" and the mother of the bride made the intricate cord that was wrapped around their hands while they "tied the knot," she also helped put together the bouquets! Everyone was so gracious and welcoming all weekend. So many guests flew in from California and other places across the country, and all of them had stories to tell and so much love to give to Jenelle and Billy. Everyone was laughing and crying as the beautiful toasts were shared and completely in awe as they floated across the dance floor in complete Beauty and the Beast flair!

It was such an honor to be a part of your big day you guys! I loved every little detail and especially the way you interacted together! Never more than a few steps away from each other and always with a smile on your face! I hope you enjoy reliving it through the images!

Billy had a note waiting for her when she entered the bridal suite titled "To the love of my life." Such a charmer!

Barclay Villa has a beautiful balcony above the ceremony garden where the bride can present herself like a princess before coming down the aisle. You could hear everyone's breath catch as Jenelle stepped out, just like Cinderella at the ball. 

Right after she smashed cake in Billy's face, she said she'd been waiting to do that for ten years! Haha! 

They were having so much fun they *might have ran through the sparklers twice! Love it! What an incredible day you guys! And a beautiful start to your life together :)

The Vendors who made the day possible:

Photography: Cynthia Viola

Venue: Barclay Villa

Wedding Coordinator & Florist: In Your Dreams by Drema

Bride's Gown: David's Bridal

Groom's Attire: Men's Warehouse

Bride's Ring: Verragio

Groom's Ring: Christian Bauer

Bride's Perfume: Sephora Disney Collection "So This Is Love"

Groom's Cologne: Giorgio Armani- Acqua Di Gio

Hair & Make-up: Katie Winslow

Officiant: Tyler Koch

DJ: JD with Anything Music 

Ballroom Dancing Lessons: Fred Astaire Dance Studio

Videographer: Nathan Head

Catering: Unforgettable Food Affairs

Cake Baker: Sweet Traditions

Linen/Chair/Tent Services: CE Rental

Getaway Car: All About U Limousine Service

Invitations: Indian Wedding Cards

River Ridge Golf Club Wedding | Anna + Anthony

“Happiness, not in another place, but this place. Not for another hour, but this hour”

— Walt Whitman

I'm not sure I've ever met a couple with more adorable smiles. These two are both always so happy and then when they see each other they light up just that much more, it's absolutely precious. I knew today was going to be a great day the moment I saw them interact together at their engagement session. Once one of them would start giggling then the other would start and the smiles never left their faces. 

We got rained out of their engagements a couple times and we were hoping that would mean the universe got it out of it's system so that the big day would be beautiful and we were not disappointed! Would you just look at those Carolina skies! The day was perfect!

Unfortunately Anna's dear grandfather passed just a short time before the wedding even though he was trying very hard to make it, so they honored him by placing a piece of his flannel shirt right next to her heart. Her sister Sarah embroidered it for her. 

I absolutely love the unique traditions that I get to experience at every celebration. Anna's bouquet was fastened to grandmother's bible that she had carried in her wedding and also Anna's mother had carried at her wedding. When she showed it to her grandmother she said it took her right back to her own wedding day. So special.

They chose Old Fashioneds and Gin Tonics as their 'his and her' drinks for the evening which everyone loved!  

Everyone had a blast, dancing and singing the night away. Huge smiles on everyone's faces, especially the new Mr. and Mrs. Noone could out-dance Anna on the dance floor though. One after another everyone took turns spinning her around and singing at the top of their lungs. It was such a fun party! Thank you guys for letting us participate in your perfect day!!  

The Vendors who made the day possible:

Photographers - Cynthia and A.J. Viola with assistance from Brittany Sloan

Ceremony and Reception Venue - River Ridge Golf and Country Club

Coordinator - Miranda Day

Wedding Dress - Savvi Formal Wear

Bridesmaid Dresses - David's Bridal

Groom's Attire - Jos. A. Bank

Bride's Ring - Diamonds Direct

Groom's Ring - Zales

Hair and Make Up - Kristi Martinson @ WINK

Florist -Lou Ann Wollett @ Southern Petals

Officiant - Tom Latimer

Musician - Justin Morehead

DJ - Erick Berrones with PC Productions

Videographer - Kayla Spivey with Blue Sparrow Productions

Catering - The Q Shack

Cake - Publix

Linen/Chair/Tent Services - CE Rental

Get Away Car - Carolina Car Service

Invitations - David's Bridal

Arbor - Homemade Bride

Oaks at Salem Wedding | Katrin + Ryan

“Love doesn’t make the world go ‘round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile”

— Franklin P. Jones

Katrin and Ryan’s wedding was such a peaceful, laid back day! I love it when couples just go with the flow and don't let details overwhelm them. They knew they had a great team at the Oaks making everything happen so they took everything in stride and were that much more excited when they finally go to see each other!

The day started with an enchanting fog over the pond and ended in the most beautiful glowy light imaginable! Two of my favorite details from the day: the lace sown onto Katrin's dress from her mother's dress and the engraving Ryan had put into her wedding band, a phrase they say to each other often... I love ya, "to the moon and back." 

I think one of my favorite parts of the day was getting to watch Katrin interact with her sister Marissa. They are so similar and yet so different at the same time! They picked on each other, and Marissa definitely picked on Ryan, as she had been the entire engagement, but when it came to her reception speech, she poured on the love for them both. I also loved Katrin's dad’s reaction when he saw her for the first time. I could tear up just thinking about it. There were so many sweet moments that happened throughout the day!

Watching two people like Katrin and Ryan commit to loving one another for the rest of their lives is such a beautiful thing. I hope you love these two and their beautiful Oaks of Salem wedding as much as I do! Enjoy!

They didn't want to see each other before the ceremony, but they did like the idea of just holding hands and being able to say "hey" and check on each other before hand. We found a perfect doorway to make that happen and they both eased each other's nerves perfectly. They were all smiles the rest of the day just knowing that the other was just as excited as they were!

Oh my goodness, these guys cracked me up so much! Love it when the wedding party jumps right in and decides to play and just have fun celebrating the couple!

The Vendors who made the day possible:

Photography: Cynthia & A.J. Viola with assistance from Brittany Sloan

Venue/Coordinator: Veni @ The Oaks at Salem, Apex

Bride's Gown: Lana Addison Bridal

Bridesmaids Gowns: Bella Bridesmaids

Groom's Attire: The Black Tux

Florist: Bloomworks

Officiant: Jody Welker

DJ: All Events DJs

Catering: Catering Works

Cake Baker: Clarke, a bridesmaid :)

Linen/Chair Services: Party Reflections

Invitations: Wedding Paper Divas

Barn of Chapel Hill Wedding | Hollie + Matthew

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own”

— Robert A. Heinlein

These two blew me away with their love the moment I met them. Matthew had invited me to capture their proposal earlier this year and I knew before I even met Hollie how special this was going to be simply because of the way he talked about her: never without a smile on her face and doing everything she can to make others feel loved. 

She did not disappoint. Hollie's love for people is the very first thing you notice about her; you cannot help but be drawn to her and the way she smiles when she looks at her groom is another level entirely. Matthew is her constant and they are incredible together. 

As for this weekend, the words that permeated the day as their guests described them were humility, loyalty and love. These two are adored by everyone they know. One of their best men, Deontra, aptly compared them to peanut butter and jelly (complete with props) and said if you've had a jelly sandwich you know it's pretty good, but not quite complete. And you also know if you've had a peanut butter sandwich it's pretty good, but it's missing something. Together though, you've got one heck of a dynamic duo. Hollie and Matthew complete each other in every way. 

Hollie wore her sister's wedding veil and Matthew's mother, Linda let her borrow her pearl earrings. 

We didn't actually set up a father-daughter first look as we so often do but it happened to work out that when they did see each other for the first time they brought us all to tears. Hollie and Ricky have such a special relationship, the way smile at each other will melt your heart. From the rehearsal to the first look to the ceremony and first dance I was wiping away tears every time they were together! 

Matthew and Trey have known each other for several years; when he heard Trey play the sax in college he told him he wanted him to play at his wedding some day. Trey not only flew up for the wedding, but also the proposal in the park! I just adore the deep relationships both Hollie and have with everyone who participated in their big day!

During the ceremony, in addition to sharing their first communion together as a married couple, they braided a beautiful rope to symbolize God partnering with them in their marriage to make it strong. This was another piece of the day that could not go unnoticed, they both acknowledged God first and foremost in everything they did and said. So many blessings to be grateful for. 

You guys! I cannot thank you enough for letting us participate in your story. You overwhelmed us with your generosity and love all weekend, so grateful to count you among our friends and cannot wait to watch your love story unfold. Love you guys!

The vendors who made the day possible:

Photographers: Cynthia and A.J. Viola with assistance from Brittany Sloan

Venue: The Barn of Chapel Hill

Coordinator: Cheryl-Anne with Kast Events

Bride's Dress: Lana Addison Bridal

Groom's attire: Men's Warehouse

Both Rings: Jared's The Galleria of Jewelry

Hair and Makeup: Ashley Mooney

Florist: The Barn of Chapel Hill at Wild Flora Farm

Officiant: Pastor Steve Williams

DJ: DJ Kevin Timothee

Saxophonist: Trey Daniels

Pianist: Chris Moten

Videographer: David with Charis

Photobooth: ZimZoom

Catering: Empire Eats Catering

Bartending: The Kindred Team

Cake Baker: Michelle at Pink Flower Sweets and Suppers

Linens/Chair/Tent Services: CE Rental

Invitations: Wedding Paper Divas

Amber and Tony Trash the Dress at Vilano Beach, FL

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it.”

— Mandy Hale

Oh my goodness! I must say I was a *little* nervous about the move to Florida and what I presumed would be a ton of beach photography, but this first session was FAR from ordinary! St. Augustine is amazing!

When Amber said she wanted to do a Trash the Dress session I was, of course, ecstatic, it's always been one of my favorite sessions to offer. I figured we'd finish on Vilano Beach with the sunset, but I was curious what else St. Augustine had to offer. Amber decided to include the Fort and St. George Street and now I'm totally hooked. This place is a photographer's dream! I cannot wait to get more couples and families out here to play! 

Of course, I could not have asked the universe for a more perfect couple for the inaugural session, Tony and Amber have been dancing in front of my lens from the moment they got engaged. This 1.5 year anniversary session was perfectly suited to their fun-loving character and style. A Trash the Dress session tends to pull the adventure out of people and the sheer audacity of it makes you feel wild and free for a day. Capturing all that wild emotion and love of life is what makes this job a dream come true. Thank you Amber and Tony for trusting me on rocky cliffs and in a wildly high tide. Your carefree spirits are everything. Love you both! 

Nostalgia

“We like to pretend it is hard to follow our heart’s dreams. The truth is, it is difficult to avoid walking through the many doors that will open.”

— Julia Cameron

These gems are from one of our first weddings ever, nearly ten years & eight cameras ago. Jennifer and Jason. We were shooting with Canon Rebels and did so for our first 10 weddings. This was actually our ninth wedding and the first one I still have images for. (Hadn't quite nailed down my backup process yet) ;) I had taken one film photography class for fun with no intention of ever shooting anything "for real." It was honestly other people who kept telling me I should do this that kept pushing me forward.

Maybe the move to FL has me feeling all nostalgic since it'll be the second time we've physically moved the business and had to rebuild with new clients - but I am feeling so grateful for the people in my life who pushed me toward a dream when I wasn't sure it was my dream and definitely didn't think it was a possibility. 

The very first "real" photo shoot I ever did was a wedding. I mean go big or go home right? Literally up until the weekend of the wedding I'd been shooting film and bought the dslr the day before the wedding with every intention of figuring it out as I went. And that is exactly what I did. Shocked at the end of the day that the photos weren't terrible and amazed at how much fun I had, I still didn't intend to shoot another one ever... Until one of the bride's friends saw the photos and asked me to shoot her wedding. What?!? Really? 

This was our 20th wedding: Nicole and Derek. (A.J. joined me after that first wedding, because that sounded like more fun and it was!) We had also upgraded to a Canon 50D.

We were still shooting with the background in mind and didn't know a thing about light. What this meant was that sometimes we got lucky, (like when the clouds came out here), but our images were super inconsistent. We didn't know why some of them were awesome and some of them were not so awesome. 

Lisa and Matt were our 30th wedding and around where we learned a little more about posing. Though shots like this were still only lucky when we placed them in the correct light (as opposed to a great background), we just didn't know that yet. This was still a side hustle and only a sliver of a dream, we still assumed we'd be doing other things full time. 

Mugé and Farris were the 40th. We'd switched to Nikon at this point (d300s) for better glass and A.J. and I could read each other's minds at this point and know exactly when and where to be and how to patiently wait for the perfect moment (which is usually *just* after the prompt or "pose"). The realization that "golden light" is amazing hit us, but it would still be a long time before we would insist upon it...not wanting to step on toes or be complicated. What we didn't realize was we were actually doing our clients a disservice to have this knowledge and not explain to them how important it was. 

Natalie and Tripp were our first realization that this could be a real thing. 50 weddings in and someone was willing to not only hire us, but pay for two plane tickets and lodging to Aspen for their destination wedding. We were amazed but also realizing that people just liked us. Our photography was fine, but others were way better (and still are). People just felt comfortable around us and wanted us to be a part of the family. This fact alone makes this a true dream come true. I adore people with my whole heart and just really want to make a positive impact. If I can make art while doing that then I'll never work another day in my life.

60 weddings in we were really starting to feel like a part of the family with soooo many clients. Jamie here is Jennifer's younger sister, and being with their whole family again was like shooting my own sister's wedding. This keeps happening over and over, and then when you add puppies and kiddos to the mix, the realization that I'll be a part of all the happiest moments of their lives is so unbelievably humbling. 

At 75 weddings Maggie and Richard overwhelmed us with the possibilities of an incredible venue and vendor team. (Even got to work alongside one of our first brides!) Since this was still somehow a side hustle and not a full time gig though, our turnover was still insane. In off season it would take about 10 weeks to deliver a wedding, 12-15 midseason. The fact that it's only 1-2 weeks now blows my mind. You know they say Rome wasn't built in a day. It's taken us 10 years to get where some photographers got in two, but you can't let a slow pace discourage you. As long as you're moving and not standing still, you'll see your dreams fulfilled eventually. 

With over 100 weddings to date, we still have SOOO much to learn. Only since I went full time two years ago did we start dabbling with off camera flash (of which we still have a LOT to learn), an actual workflow, of course new camera upgrades (d750s), a reflector for portraits, Lightroom, Indesign and an interactive style of posing. I can only image what the new terrain of Florida beaches will teach us but I'm excited for something new and so so so incredibly grateful for everyone who made this dream a reality. Love you all. 

Rose Garden Wedding | Amy and Jay

“When all the work is done, by the light of a setting sun;
We see what we’ve become — two of the lucky ones.”

— The Droge & Summers Blend

When Amy and Jay told me their reception was going to be held at Big Boss Brewing company, I knew we were going to be a great fit. These two are so comfortable to be around and were easy going about all the details, they were a dream to work with. 

The Raleigh Little Theatre Rose Garden was, of course, a perfect backdrop for their ceremony and all day long, Amy and Jay's friends cheered them on and surrounded them with love. It is very clear that their love for the other people in their lives is deeply reciprocated by their friends.

Julie, their wedding coordinator, was so perfect for this group. She's super focused on details, which is vital, but more importantly, her genuine love of people and easy going nature meant no one felt rushed all day. 

Big Boss was amazing: laid back and well suited for any schnanigans  that would inevitably ensue with this fun bunch. In fact, a few minutes after we were safely tucked inside the reception the skies opened up and a torrential downpour started. It fell so hard and fast that Big Boss started flooding inside and AJ, Julie, Brendan and all the groomsmen promptly started pushing water off the dance floor before it got to our or the DJ's equipment. Before long bridesmaids and guests were dancing in the puddles and the party continued without missing a beat. Nothing was going to stop this crew from having a good time!  

Hope you enjoy a few of these favorites from the day!

The Vendors who made the day possible:

Photography: Cynthia & A.J. Viola

Coordinator: Julie Morrissey

Ceremony Venue: The Raleigh Little Theatre Rose Garden

Reception Venue: Big Boss Brewing Co.

Rehearsal Dinner Venue: Centro

Bride's Dress: Revelry

Hair Stylist: Annie at Mark Christopher Salon

Florist: Jeanette Flaherty

Officiant: Lance Olson

DJ: Save the Date Music: DJ Gino

Catering: Clyde Cooper's BBQ

Cake Baker: Marsha Townsend

Doughnuts: Krispy Kreme

Chairs: Dee Jay's Event Rentals

Party Bus: James Ray Transportation

The couple offered save rides through Lyft for all their guests. 

Vendor Series - The Whole Shebang Events

Meris and I have quite a long history. She and Paul were the third wedding AJ and I ever shot in our first year - a decade ago. Both so young at the time we had no idea what the wedding world had in store for us. She has since become an incredible wedding coordinator with an excellent team and I adore working with her! 

All of the vendors I've highlighted in this series so far have been in the Raleigh area, but since I shoot so many weddings in the High Country as well, I thought it'd be fun to highlight a few favorites up there as well. 

I asked Meris to talk about a few of the pitfalls new couples come across as they are planning for their big day and how she can help:

Why is it important for a couple to work with a planner for their wedding?

First and foremost, a wedding planner can introduce you to the right team of vendors for the your style, personality and budget and tell you the ones to steer clear of. 

Second, if it's in the budget to have more than just a "month of" coordinator, the planner will shoulder some stress during the planning process and help keep the team on the same page, minimizing the constant back and fourth... which can be exhausting.

As far as the wedding day itself goes, even if your wedding day is planned to perfection, there are still 100 different things that you never thought of that will happen on the wedding day. It's important to have someone that knows you well enough to be the point person for all of those situations that come up so that you can breathe easy knowing that everything is being handled according to your wishes.

What are some of the biggest hurdles couples come across when planning their big day?

Balancing the guest list can be a really emotional thing for everyone involved. I think also just managing the general stress the month of the wedding is a lot. It's impossible to not feel pulled in a million directions and overwhelmed even if you have a perfect team of vendors and a Full Service planner.

How do you manage to keep up with so many unique details at a wedding? Especially when you have multiple events in the same month? 

I could geek out on this subject forever but basically we have systems in place that I've put together over the years from how we organize emails and online folders t spreadsheets and forms that we've built. I'd say it's pretty bulletproof at this point through constant trial and error. I've tried different wedding software but none of it seems to fit exactly how I want things laid out. 

How do you work with bad weather?

Weather is a biggie and it's unavoidable. There's just so many big "game day decisions" to be made any time you have to enact a plan B or plan C. It can be really stressful for the couple to make the decision by themselves. Weather can also bring up thousands of dollars in unexpected expenses whether you're having to rent extra indoor space or tent sidewalls and gutters, heaters and flooring. It can also be hard to know when to pull the trigger on these decisions. We do the best we can to go with the couple's wishes while still maintaining a realistic plan regarding all the moving parts. 

What parts of the planning and/or day of to-dos do you do yourself and what do you delegate to your team?

The main thing is making sure that I bring along enough staff so that I can stay focused on the big picture. Typically there are 3 or 4 of us working on a wedding day. I really don't have hard fast rules for what I do vs what my staff does. Some days I'm setting up chairs and covering tables along with everyone else but I do tend to spend more time with the wedding party and leave a lot of the "set up" to everyone else so that I can make sure that things are flowing well.

What is the difference between a day of coordinator and a full-service wedding planner? 

We hear this question quite a bit. We offer Month of, Partial and Full Service packages. The Month of is exactly like the Partial, you just have access to us from the time you book up until the wedding where as with the Month of we step in at 30 days out and pull everything together.

The difference between the Full Service and these two is that the responsibility is on u to make sure everything is done start to finish where with the other two packages, you're driving the car and we're the navigator. The Full Service Package also looks different for different couples. We do our best to work within the expectations of each different client. Some of our Full Service couples want to be involved in all steps of the process and just want us to be there too. Other couples let us know their overall preferences and then give us free reign to choose the vendors and details that we think are best for them. Things that are helpful to some people aren't always helpful to others so it's important to really get to know your clients in the beginning and figure out how to best serve them. 

What is your favorite part of planning a wedding for a couple?

I love love love the early stages of the planning process. Getting to know the couple and their families and then matching them up with the perfect team of vendors is one of my very favorite things. I enjoy joining together all of the intricate details into one seamless event.

Of course there are favorite moments on the wedding day as well. One of my favorites the sweet moment that the bride and her father share right before they walk down the aisle. I tear up every time! I also can't get enough of the stories that the family and friends tell you about loved ones past and present. 

It's an honor just to be a part of the biggest day of someone's life. Other than that, I really just love people and people working together towards a common goal and seeing something beautiful come to life from start to finish. Having a job where the end result of every work day is a lifelong memory is pretty great.

Maggie and Richard's wedding is one of mine and A.J.'s favorites to date. It was very large and full of incredible details as well different buildings across Eseeola's huge grounds. It could NOT have been accomplished without Meris' incredible team at The Whole Shebang. So grateful for any chance I get to work with them. If you don't have a coordinator yet, you must give her a call!

Grace Point Camp Tennessee Wedding - Allie and Anse

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

— Dr. Seuss

When it comes to Anse and Allie, I feel like I could write a novel. It all started for us when I was shooting Shaquera and Brandon's wedding and found myself seated at the same table as Anse. We became fast friends but it was solidified when he stole my backup camera while I was photographing the dance floor and he took selfies of himself and everyone at the table. I loved his sheer audacity and he loved the fact that I thought it was hilarious. We talked photography over facebook in the following months and when he was ready to propose to Allie we began scheming.  

We decided he'd tell her they won a "free photo session" and the adventure began. I loved Allie the moment I met her and knew she was the perfect fit for Anse. She knew how to keep him in line while bringing the biggest smile to his face and he could make her laugh or swoon with just a certain look. We hiked halfway up Carver's Gap to the perfect spot and I gave Anse the queue (taking Allie's headshot) and when she turned around he was on a knee and the rest is history. 

I have never seen such an outpouring of love as I did this weekend. I had the privilege of rooming with Allie and her party Thursday night after the rehearsal (complete with "Never Have I Ever" and fun stories about the bride) and again with almost the whole wedding party at Anse and Allie's new home Friday after the wedding. It says so much about their character that sooooo many friends and family poured out their time, hugs, gifts, special skills, dance moves, and love to see to it that these two had the most perfect memory of the best day ever. They wanted to spend every last minute with their people, like savoring the last drop of a fine wine. It was such an incredible experience.  

You guys, thank you so much for this memorable weekend, I hope you love these images, they were SO hard to choose! You guys had so many great moments! 

The day was made possible by the following vendors:

Photography: Cynthia Viola Photography

Venue: Grace Point Camp and Retreat Center

Coordinator: Marvyl Triscritti with Team Wedding TN

Brides's Dress: White Lace and Promises/Stella York

Groom's Attire: Belk / Old Navy / Tie Bar / Menlau

Bride's Ring: Alexander Zachary and Fountain City Jewelers

Groom's Ring: King Will

Perfume & Cologne: Light Blue Dolce and Gabbana for him and her

Bride's Hair: Amanda McIntyre

Officiant: Harry "Butch" Hodges

DJ: SLS Entertainment 

Catering: Peggy Jacobson - Out of This World Catering

Donuts: Duck Donuts

Linen/Chair/Tent Services: Rockin' L Rentals

Invitations: Vistaprint

Favors: Light sabers!

Highgrove Estate Wedding - Jacqueline and Jon

“So I’m thanking you today, because of you I am now me.”

— John Butler Trio

Oh my goodness, we love Jacqueline and Jon so much!

For starters A.J. connected with Jon about a year ago discussing business and boxing. Jon has such a passion for serving people well both in business and in life, it just happens to play out at the moment in his 9 Round gym. He and A.J. were fast friends. 

Then, when Jacqueline and I met just a few weeks ago to discuss the wedding, we instantly realized we are basically the same person. Both ENFPs, similar back stories, the same love of adventure and stubborn unwillingness to be put into a box. She decided they'd be a great fit for our pre-marital counseling sessions and A.J. and I fell in love with them all over again as we got to hear their story and watch them pick on each other and read each other's minds as we discussed a few marriage expectations. 

These two were meant for each other. She talked about how he makes her laugh and fills in the gaps where she lacks, making her better. He talked about how she keeps him fun and how she is THE person he wants to marry...not believing in two marriages, he knows they will make the sacrifices to ensure they stay together for life. 

As the big day commenced and they bustled about Highgrove, the stresses of the day began to weigh in, but all of it disappeared as Jacqueline practically bounced (in her Jordan's) down the stairs to meet Jon for the first look. The moment they hugged each other you could just see the stress melt away. They talked and laughed, teased each other by choosing not to kiss til the ceremony and even practiced their first dance. Perfection. 

The other aspect of the day that was perfection was Highgrove Estate. You guys. This place is unbelievable. Everything you could possibly need on site and a photographer's dream. It was made with the best light in mind and the whole day photographed so beautifully. I cannot wait to come back! 

Jacqueline and Jon we love you both so much, we hope this week is full of rest and perfect bliss! Thank you for letting us be a part of you day! Hope you enjoy these favorites from the day!

This gold bracelet is a gift from Jon's mother to Jacqueline, it's a Persian tradition for the mother of the groom to give the bride a gift. And below, Jacqueline's Jordans. A lifetime favorite of hers could not be neglected on her big day. Love it!

The vendors who made the day possible:

Photographers: Cynthia & A.J. Viola

Venue and Catering: Highgrove Estate

Coordinator: Amanda Shepherd

Bride's Dress: BHLDN

Groom's Attire: Ticknors Mens Clothiers

Bride's Ring: Joint Venture Jewelry

Groom's Ring: LA Laser Engraving

Make Up Artist: Anna Dill

Florist: Sarah Brock

Officiant: Jeremy Robertson

DJ: Bob Perry

Cake Baker: Sweet Memories Bakery

Linens: CE Rentals

Invitations: Basic Invite

Favors: Carolina Popcorn Shoppe

It's a Wedding, What Could Possibly go Wrong?

“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”

— Ron White

One of my new favorite gifts to give our couples is this epic 85 page wedding magazine I created to help make the photography timeline a little smoother, explain why a first look is so super special, give tips on healthy skin and hair, and generally make the day as smooth as possible. You can't experience over 100 weddings and NOT come away with advice on how to make the day a little smoother.  

In writing it, though, I realized JUST how many situations I've experienced that *could* have ruined the day. 

I've seen the "getting into the dress" moment take an extra 30 minutes because a button popped off and had to be resown on the fly. (Thanks grandma!)

I've seen grooms and whole bridal parties thoroughly trashed before they even walked down the aisle. (The keg stands that followed at the reception didn't help the situation).

Bridesmaids who couldn't arrive at the last second because they went into LABOR. 

DJs who packed up their gear and left halfway through the reception because there was a miscommunication on how long they were to stay. (Luckily A.J. was still DJing at the time and he was able to grab his gear and finish the night for them).

Very close family members who died the week of the wedding. 

I've seen a ceremony start an HOUR late while half the guests sat quietly in the church and the other half in traffic as an unexpected PARADE started up through the neighborhood. Tip: You're going to want to make sure to check road closures/races/parades/construction in the area directly around your venue(s).

A flower girl bit by a very venomous snake at the rehearsal placing her in the ER and on crutches for the wedding.

Torrential downpours, flooding, a hurricane, a foot of snow and sweltering 100+ heat. 

The point of this post is not to scare you out of your big day or force an elopement but to remind you that no wedding is perfect. Things are going to go wrong and people are going to disappoint you. At the end of the day, every single wedding ended with an "I do" and a happy, albeit exhausted couple waving good bye to their friends as they set off on a new adventure...together. 

If I can leave you with just 3 tips, I would say:

1. Don't sweat the details. Noone but you knows what color the napkins were supposed to be, and everyone expects the ceremony to start a little late. Shake it off and remember this is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life!

2. Plan some downtime. It's not a matter of IF the timeline will get backed up, but by how MUCH. If you can plan an extra 15 minutes for hair or an extra 30 minutes to drive from venue to venue and especially an extra 15-30 minutes ALONE with your new spouse to take it all in, savor the moment and clear your head, I promise your day will be far less stressful. If you need help with this please just ask. I've become an expert at finding extra hours in the day. Failing to plan for something to go wrong means planing to fail when it does.

3. LOVE your people well. I've seen so many couples say hurtful things to the people they love the most. It's not worth hurting your relationship with your mother or best friend or future spouse because they dropped the ball on something. Do your best to remember that they've given you so much of their free time to help you plan and they only want what's best. Love them well with kind words and generous hugs. If you can throw in a gift or two, do. They will always remember how you treated them over how perfect the day was. 

Remember, you're getting MARRIED! This is supposed to be fun! Let the mistakes roll off your back and savor the sweet moments. 

Lake Wheeler Park Wedding - Torrie and David

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own”

— Robert A. Heinlein

Oh my goodness, these two. 

When I first met with Torrie to hear their vision for the day she said she wanted it to feel more like an elopement: small and intimate with only their closest family and friends. While there were a few more than a traditional elopement; it was the perfect amount to make them both feel loved and celebrated. Lake Wheeler Park was an amazing backdrop for this, with the MOST gorgeous weather EVER. They could not have asked for a more perfect day. 

David and Torrie were both feeling the pressure as the time drew near, but the second they stepped away from the crowd and were able to savor the moment, everything shifted. They slowed down, relaxed their smiles, gazed at each other longer and held on just a little tighter. These are the moments that make me love what I get to do. Watching two hearts beat as one and seeing the little glimpses of why they chose each other brings me so much joy.

One of my favorite moments was during a game when they had to answer questions about each other simultaneously. (Who's the better driver, who's more likely to get injured etc...) Everyone was giggling as they both confirmed suspicions and surprised us all with their answers. Then they were asked who fell in love first and they both said themselves. The whole room went silent for a moment with love for them both; it was SUCH a sweet realization. 

Thank you for inviting us to celebrate with you guys! I hope you enjoy a few of these favorites!! 

VENDORS

Photography: Cynthia Viola

Venue: Lake Wheeler Park

Bride's Dress: David's Bridal

MOH Dress: Mod Cloth

Groom's Attire: Belk

Bride's Ring: His Grandmother's 

Bride's Earrings: Her Mother's

Grooms's Ring: Bling

Officiant: Randy Bridges

Catering: City BBQ

Cake: Erika Jenkins

Invitations: Invite Shop

Favors: Etsy - Free Mountain Designs

Vendor Series - Hair and Makeup - WINK

“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

I've been having so much fun highlighting the wedding vendors and members of the community that I love to work with and think will be helpful for our couples and families. When you work in an industry filled with artists, you tend to work with a lot of people who truly enjoy their careers who barely feel like they're working half the time. It's so fulfilling and I love seeing others love what they do.

The lovelies at WINK Hair and Makeup are no different. I worked with Kristi at Alaria and Drew's wedding this past October and loved Kristi right from the start. She was very easy to work with and more than willing to do the "dance" as I captured photos of Alaria getting ready. (Not all stylists and artists are willing to move around to make the shot better).

I was further blown away when I got to meet (almost) all the girls when we shot team portraits. They are all SO friendly and knowledgable. I was asking all the questions especially to Janna and Jeanette who happened to arrive first. They are both makeup artists for WINK and lash extension techs so I had a ton of mascara questions lol. Afterwards they all took me out for a drink and we had the BEST time. You will seriously love working with any of them whether for your big day or your engagements or family portraits. Below are a few of the questions we discussed. :)

Why is it important for a bride to hire a professional for her hair and makeup the day of the wedding? What are common regrets when they don't? Hiring a professional to do you and your bridal party's hair and makeup for your wedding is definitely a luxury purchase, but when hiring a professional hair and makeup team, you ensure that you will have years of training and expertise. We know what products photograph well and stay on the best. We use high-quality products and know how to tame the most unruly of hair. We create timelines that keep everyone on track and on time and we are well equipped to solve any problem thrown our way. When hiring experienced and educated beauty professionals, you get the peace of mind that Aunt Gertrude won't be wearing that hideous fuchsia eyeshadow with her spider lash mascara and cousin Tina's contour will be more natural rather than drag queen.

The biggest regret we have come across from women that decide to either do their own hair and makeup or have a friend do it is that hair and makeup didn't look as they imagined it should be and that it added more stress to their day.

Are there any skin conditioning regimens you suggest in the weeks leading up to the big day? If you have any concerns when if comes to your skin, take the time to visit a dermatologist. Otherwise, skin regimens are going to be based on your skin type and it is extremely important to have a routine for day and night.  Making sure that you are consistent with your skincare regimen months before the wedding will only help to ensure that your makeup goes on smoother and looks its best.  Exfoliate 1-2 times a week and get an amazing moisturizer for your face, neck, and lips. We love Sonia Roselli skincare and keep it in our kits! Get plenty of rest and water. Drink lots and lots of water. 

Do not get waxed the week of your wedding (makeup won't adhere to the areas that you got waxed the same as the rest of your face), also, do not get spray tanned less than 2 days before the wedding day.

Do you suggest anything specific with makeup knowing that they will be having multiple photos taken? Make sure that there is no more than an SPF 15 in your makeup or moisturizers, use primers and setting sprays, don't use too much shimmer. Faux lashes always photograph beautifully. They just add a little more polish to your look and you can get them as natural or as dramatic as you are comfortable with. If you aren't planning on hiring your artist to stay for touch-ups after the ceremony and before pictures are taken, we would suggest putting together a little touch-up kit that includes a pressed blotting powder, lipstick (ALWAYS make sure your lipstick looks good before photos!), blotting papers, a moisturizing and setting spray and a little lash glue. Also, remember to cry pretty and try to catch your tears (pat dry don't rub/wipe away tears).

With an updo, what precautions do you take to make sure it hasn't fallen by the time of the ceremony? For updos, we ensure that it is secured by using a ton of bobby pins and crisscrossing them if hair is thick. Finish with firm hold hair spray and wiggling or lightly shaking the client's head to make sure everything feels secure. We also always do touch ups before we leave to make sure nothing has fallen. 

Is a trial session really needed or is the day of enough? Our contract actually requires a hair and makeup trial before the wedding day. The trial is our chance to get to know each other, play with different looks to discover your wedding day style. We always suggest scheduling your trial on a day that you will be taking pictures (i.e. engagement pictures or bridal portraits) so you can see how beautifully the hair and makeup look with your wedding dress, how well it photographs, and how well your hair and makeup last throughout humidity or smooches ;)

Why do you love doing hair and makeup, what brings you back to it week after week? As far as bridal hair and makeup go, we absolutely love bringing out a woman's beauty and seeing her face when everything is put together. You can see a woman's demeanor change immediately when she feels beautiful. She poses in the mirror, she smiles bigger and laughs louder. We adore being a part of that. 

Krystal and Kristi are incredible business owners who love what they do, love their team and love making women of all shapes and sizes feel and look their best. Their passion is refreshing and will ensure that you are in the very best hands. I recommend them to all by brides and families! 

How to Choose Bridesmaids Dresses

“This above all; to thine own self be true.”

— Shakespeare

One of our lovely brides recently asked if I had any tips on how to choose the colors and styles of her bridesmaids dresses. As I was about to send her an email with several images for inspiration, I thought others might have the same question so opted for a full post instead. :)

With over 100 weddings in our back up files I had plenty to choose from. However, I will be the first to say up front; I am no style expert. I've always been a 'jeans and a tee shirt' kinda girl and if I could re-do my own bridal party today it would actually include 5 guys and 2 girls, so there's that. 

I am a FIRM believer that there is no "correct" way to do anything. If you want one person on each side or twenty - do it. If you want a mixture of girls, guys and transgendered friends on both sides - do it. If you want the girls in the most exquisite gold sequin gowns and the guys in the most expensive fitted tuxedo - do it. If you want them all in hiking gear because you plan to hike up to the top of a mountain for the ceremony - do it. Don't ever let yourself feel pressured by ALLLL the opinions you will definitely receive from caring friends and family.  

That said, here are a few ideas.

Winter weddings tend to include reds, hunter green, and black. 

Spring weddings use lighter colors. Think pastels and neutrals like blush, green and gray. 

Summer weddings tend to have bold blues, pinks and violet. 

And autumn brings out the oranges, browns, yellow and plum. 

Again, there is no such thing a a correct way. A.J. and I chose black in the middle of summer and it worked out JUST fine. As far as style of dresses, if consistency and uniformity are important to you, then you should just choose the dress you like the best and go with it. If not, I recommend choosing the color and length you want then allowing your girls to choose the top style that fits their form the best. 

Classic mixes. 

If you've got guys and girls on both sides, a nice way to tie everything together is having all of one party in one color (green dress and ties) and all of the other in a different one (pink dresses and tie). Or have everyone completely mixed up so you can't tell who goes with who and it doesn't matter because everyone loves everyone :)

Extras: 

Cover ups, jewelry, shoes, getting ready robes...the sky is the limit. Again, feel free to make them unique to the girl or exactly the same. If keeping it uniform I find couples like to purchase the matching items and give as a gift. (this goes for the fellas with socks and ties and cufflinks as well). 

Little People. 

Don't feel like you have to have a flower girl or ring barer. (They are often hard to wrangle throughout the long day anyway). If you want to though, they can make for cute photos. Well trained dogs are fun too. 

At the end of the day, these are just details. Just remember to enjoy the process, choose those you love the most to celebrate this time and plan to have a blast, it's going to be one of the most memorable days of your life!

Vendor Series: The Wedding Planner - Nouveau Events

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

— Paulo Coelho

As a way to better serve our couples, over the next few months I will be highlighting and interviewing a few of our favorite wedding vendors as well as others in the community who directly impact the new life of the young couple. I want to ask them why they love what they do, some tips for couples navigating this new territory and pitfalls that can be avoided. 

The next lovely in this series is none other than Monica Noa from Nouveau Events. I met Monica and her team when we were still in the planning phase of Caity and Al's big day and she has blown me away from the start. She had every detail in place, the timeline set, and specific instructions to every member of the bridal party and every vendor on when and where to be. 

When the day arrived it went off without one hitch that I could see (and I'm usually well aware of anything that goes wrong because it affects my timeline). The timeline was so perfect, in fact, I have since started using it as my example timeline for all future weddings. Additionally she made sure either I or A.J. were ready and available before any major event happened so Caity and Al could have everything properly documented. Perfection. 

Vendors working together as a team to make sure the couple is taken care of makes me SO happy. (You'd be surprised how often it's not the case) All of these ladies are so professional and great at what they do, it makes the whole day better for everyone...especially the lucky couple. Here are a few of the questions I asked Monica to help you decide whether Nouveau is right fit for you:

Q: How many weddings/events would you say you've planned since you started?

A: Since we started in 2011, we have done well over 100 weddings and are looking forward to the weddings we have scheduled for the 2017 season.

Q: How do you manage to keep up with so many unique details at a wedding? Especially when you have multiple events in the same month? 

A: I pride myself on organization and proper planning. We work with each couple leading up to the day and for many of our couples we are a part of their entire planning process. We treat each wedding as if it is our only one for the month and work hard to make sure it is logistically sound and the details are clear. 

Q: What parts of the planning do you delegate to your team and what do you do yourself?

A: Day of Coordination and event management on the day is delegated to my team. My lead coordinators have their own schedule of events. They are responsible for coordination in addition to the Full-Service events we do each year.  I am the Principal Planner and coordinator at Nouveau Events so I personally plan all Full-Service events and oversee any additional ones. 

Q: What is the difference between a day of coordinator and a full-service wedding planner?

A: A full-Service wedding planner works with the couple during their entire planning process. We guide, plan, design and coordinate the day. Day of Coordination is for couples who have planned their entire wedding but need to hand it over to a professional to coordinate vendors, timeline, logistics and event management. This ensures that their wedding day runs according to plan. 

Q: Why is it important for a couple to have a planner for the wedding when they can do a lot themselves and have family help with the rest?

A: You Shouldn’t be the Ref

 Your wedding will be one of the best days of your life, but the time leading up to it can be very stressful! A wedding brings two families together and that can get complicated. Everyone has different ideas, and it can get confusing. That’s where we come in. You might need a buffer, someone to present ideas as an unbiased and well-intended third party. Often that is exactly what you need to prevent an argument. When I am present, both through the planning process and on the wedding day, responsibilities/ burdens are lifted from your family. That means they can simply be guests and enjoy the moment.

Or the Point of Contact

On average, a single wedding has over 22 different vendors. Add in your wedding party and all the guests, and you’ll have countless people to coordinate, instruct, and answer questions for. I will act as your sole “go-to” girl, relieving you of policing pressures. From the very beginning or on your special day, you’ll be left to bask in the moment, while I handle the fuss and chaos.

You Can’t Control Chaos

Speaking of chaos – you can’t control it. But I can! I can take control when something goes wrong (and something always goes wrong) and get it taken care of before you even hear about it. Instead of dealing with the headache of a late floral delivery or a rogue aunt, you should be focusing on your new life as a Mrs. I’ll handle the chaos.

You are the Boss

You and your fiancé, that is. Not the caterer, the venue, or the floral designer. I make sure it stays that way. I will know your dreams and vision, using it as a guide for all elements coming together. I will know what you mean when you say vintage. Some brides mean shabby chic, some mean rustic – I’ll know exactly what you mean, and make sure your vendors know too. Your vision is what matters, and it is what we will focus on.

Q: On average, how many phone calls/emails/meetings to you have to set up/organize for one wedding?

A: I respond to probably 150-200 emails a week and let's not think about how many during wedding season!

Q: Why do couples need a coordinator on their actual wedding day?

A: Speak with any past bride, who gave herself the gift of a wedding planner and you’ll hear a resounding theme: they were able to fully relax on their day, enjoy the moment and maximize their fun. Whether you need a planner to help you every step of the way or simply the weekend of your wedding, you do need someone to be there for you. Having a planner allows you to be present at your own affair, acting as a guest, rather than a host. And in my humble opinion, this is the single greatest blessing in disguise!

Q: What brings you the most joy at a wedding and brings you back for more week after week?

A: What brings me the most joy is the satisfaction of know that my couples have the luxury of enjoying their wedding, seeing their vision met or exceeded and being able to be present in the moment. The day goes by SO FAST and you want to be able to take it all in! 

As you can see, Monica and her team are invaluable when it comes to your big day. We had a planner for our wedding 11 years ago and I absolutely could not have done it without her. I do not see how anyone is able to enjoy their day when they're busy dealing with last minute details themselves. Trust me, you won't regret hiring Nouveau Events to make your day happen exactly as you envision it. 

Vendor Series - The Venue - The Oaks at Salem

“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful”

— Mae West

As a way to better serve our couples, over the next few months I will be highlighting and interviewing a few of our favorite wedding vendors as well as others in the community who directly impact the new life of the young couple. I want to ask them why they love what they do, some tips for couples navigating this new territory and pitfalls that can be avoided. 

This week I'd like to highlight The Oaks at Salem in Apex. Oh my goodness. I have worked with so many venues in the area, and I am telling you, no one has it all together quite like The Oaks. We are talking a GORGEOUS white house, beautiful lake, dreamy barn complete with giant oak trees and a plethora of other hidden gems on their 11 acre estate. Additionally they provide both the ceremony and reception space so your guests don't have to drive around, indoor and outdoor options depending on the weather, valet parking so guests don't have to hike up to their car in the field, full on-site coordination (which I'll get into in a second), and the most perfect getting ready spaces you've ever seen.

Now, I've seen other beautiful venues, but April has intentionally laid everything out with your memories in mind. Not just the beautiful backdrops, but very intentional natural window light in the bridal suite, neutral walls, and private areas both indoor and out for the first look and bridal party photos. These details make such a big difference in your final images, as well as the flow of photography on the big day.  

If the grounds themselves weren't enough, they have THE BEST on-site coordinators around. Veni, Joslin, Tina and Katie go out of their way to make sure the day is flawless. They even hold vendor meetings with the couple and/or parents a month before the wedding to ensure everyone is on the same page and working as a team to make the couples' dreams a reality. They are so good at what they do. Vendors working together as a team to make sure the couple is taken care of makes me SO happy. (You'd be surprised how often it's not the case)

Here's a few questions we discussed to help you navigate the venue world:

How many weddings have been hosted at the Oaks? 

We have hosted over 300 successful weddings. 

Why is it important for a couple to choose a venue with everything in one location? 

Our venue provides a seamless experience for couples looking to host both ceremony and reception with us, or for couples looking to have their ceremony off-site.  Our Oaks Coordinators create comprehensive timelines that cover all the moving parts!

What are some of the biggest hurdles couples face when choosing a venue? 

Couples face hurdles deciding between their top choice venues, and often focus only on aesthetics. In choosing a venue, couples should compare the venues apples to apples. This includes factoring in their inclusions, weather contingency plans, organization, and the overall flow of the space. We strive to educate potential couples and provide them with all the information they need to make a well informed decision.

How does your team manage to keep up with so many unique details at each wedding, especially when you have multiple events in the same month? 

Our team has a very organized system in place so that we can keep up with all the details! Upon booking, clients are assigned a lead coordinator that they correspond with via email.  Using email for communication is very convenient for the client, generates a fast response from us, and helps us keep all of the planning details documented in one place. The lead coordinator organizes an on-site meeting with the client and their vendors before the wedding to create a timeline and layout for the big day.  Every wedding is unique and these meetings allow us to discuss and account for all of those fine details. In addition to an on-site lead coordinator, every couple is also assigned an assistant coordinator for the day of the wedding.  The timeline and layout are a life source for us and all of the vendors on the day of the wedding, they include reminders and detailed notes down to the minute! 

What brings your team the most joy at a wedding and makes you want to host them week after week? 

We love to see the life-long memories being made and the abundance of love and happiness. It is a pleasure to be a part of these momentous occasions!

As you can see, The Oaks at Salem is a premier wedding venue that is capable of covering everything you could need. Trust me, you won't regret choosing them to make your day happen exactly as you envision it! To see my most recent wedding there, check out Alaria and Drew's blog post. 

Vendor Series - The DJ & Videographer - Damien Maass

“What I love most about this crazy life is the adventure of it.”

— Juliette Binoche

As a way to better serve our couples, over the next few months I will be highlighting and interviewing a few of our favorite wedding vendors as well as others in the community who directly impact the new life of the young couple. I want to ask them why they love what they do, some tips for couples navigating this new territory and pitfalls that can be avoided. 

This week I want to highlight one of my favorite humans on the planet. Damien and I met at a Bat Mitzvah two years ago and it's been quite the adventure ever since. He is one of the most genuine, kind, and cheerful people I've ever had the pleasure of working with. He never has a harsh word for another vendor or a client, he's easy to work with; if I want to try something a little crazy he's totally down whether he's DJing or holding the camera. He has the same mission I do...to work well together so we can serve the clients better. 

Patrick and Madi are part of his video team and are equally amazing to work with. Professional, lighthearted and so very talented. 

Once, we were doing a Bar Mitzvah together and one of my off camera flash batteries died right as Damien was getting ready to start the Hora dance... he and I locked eyes and he saw the panic in mine. Without a second's hesitation he backtracked and announced it would actually start in just a second then asked me what I needed. He gave me time to swap the batteries out and get back in place so they were able to get the best photos. Being a videographer too he is so knowledgable about everything the photographer needs and goes out of his way to accommodate, which only helps to serve our clients better. I would have him at every wedding I shoot if I could. 

Here are just a few of the questions I asked about how he works and what couples need to know, he is always ready and willing to answer any and every question you may have though, just contact him on his website here. 

Q: How do you manage to DJ and Video at the same time at a wedding? What do you delegate to your team and what do you do yourself?

A: A lot of planning goes into a wedding as you know and when we are providing both DJ & Video services great teamwork is essential alongside all the planning. There are three main parts to the wedding day when we provide both services; Bridal Party prep, Ceremony and the Reception. I will shoot for the first part of the day before transitioning into a DJ and my two other videographers will take over full time from that point. It is very seamless and I am lucky to have an amazing team in place. Two of our team members are also FAA licensed drone pilots for our aerial videography. We work at our craft constantly to ensure things happen, as they should on the wedding day.

Q: Why is it important for a couple to have a cinematographer capture their wedding when they already have a photographer?

A: It’s funny but I hear it all the time from married couples who chose not to have one that they regret not having a wedding video. There is so much the couple will miss during the day. Photos & video tell the same story but in a different way and both if are done well, they are amazing keepsakes. A great video becomes something that you’ll watch over and over initially and then every anniversary you’ll get to revisit that incredible day in a special way. This isn’t your parent’s wedding video anymore either. We specialize in short-form wedding films, which means we focus on making amazing cinema style productions that you’ll want to watch over and over again. We use only the best possible cameras & lenses along with real storytelling techniques in our editing to make our films unique to whatever event we are filming.

Q: What do you think a couple will regret the most by not having a cinematographer?

A: So much of the wedding day will be a blur especially with everything that is going on so fast and a great wedding video can bring that amazing day back to life. To me there is nothing like capturing the emotion of day with not only video but with the actual audio. To hear the vows, people laughing, to see all the places you couldn’t be, it just brings the entire day to life in a fun, emotional and entertaining way.

Q: What are some of the biggest hurdles couples face when choosing a DJ that fits their unique style?

A: First and foremost: is this someone I want to work with on one of the most important days of my life! Will they listen to my detailed requests, can I choose my own music, do they work well with other vendors, are they professional sounding, do they use top sound equipment, etc. Every couple and wedding day is different and a big part of my job to be really good at listening to what couples want or don’t want. We take into account their venue, guest list, music tastes and what kind of party flow they want. We want to make sure that the reception is a blast with the music they want to hear and done in a style that fits in, without being over the top.

Q: What do you do to ensure that you play music the couple will love as well as the mixed crowd of guests attending?

A: One thing that experience does is give you the ability to read a crowd quickly, use the couple’s requests along with what you know will work to keep the dance floor popping! We have two very helpful online wedding planners that couples can use before the wedding to select music and plan the reception details. We try to stay as organized as we can so things come off as they should. These are things we go over with couple’s beforehand so they are comfortable and can look forward to having a great time. Guests requests are also important; and as long as those songs go with the energy on the floor I am all for it.

Q: What do you do if you get a crowd that just doesn't seem to want to dance? 

A: Great question and again this is an area where experience and honing your craft make a big difference. Whether it’s by playing a really familiar fun song, one of the many interactive fun dances, bridal party requests or even a great slow song to get the floor packed. Once you got people up build on it and keep it going!

Q: What brings you the most joy at a wedding and brings you back for more week after week?

A: Its kind of cliché but this is a real passion for me. I hosted a morning show on radio for several years as well as acting, doing voiceovers but there nothing like a live event. And what’s better than being a part of a celebration? Seeing how happy these couples are and how much fun they are having during their wedding day is incredible and I feel so lucky to be doing this for a living. We started providing the wedding video part of the business about 5 years ago and that just opened up a whole new level of excitement and fun. I truly look at each event we do as unique and different. It’s a major reason why I decided to keep the business small so we can give each wedding the attention that it deserves. I love it!

I hope you find this helpful and you see why I give Damien all the stars! He, Madi and Patrick are so great to work with and I know they won't disappoint. I also wanted to include one of his highlights from the most recent wedding we all did together, enjoy!

The Best Decision You Can Make Before the Wedding Day

“Wedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love.”

— Tim Keller

With such a popular response from the last week's post about healthy choices to make before the wedding, I decided to expand on the most important one. After all, your future spouse loves you just as you are and the people coming to celebrate your love do too. All the health conscious choices that give you clearer skin, a thinner waist or brighter smile won't guarantee that your marriage will stand the test of time and trials. 

A.J. and I have offered pre-marital counseling to several couples over the years, some while we were only a year into it ourselves, but it's something we knew we would do before we even walked down the aisle. I'm not sure how to explain it, we just get each other. We trust each other completely and have learned excellent communication skills over the years from our own marriage trials as well as owning different businesses together, attending 7 years of school (almost all the same classes) together, and leading a small church together.

Poor communication or lack of communication, we would insist, is the number one reason marriages (and really any relationships) fall apart. There may ultimately be financial issues, adultery, or abuse but it all stems from communication. We believe that communication needs to begin before you walk down the aisle and preferably even before your "just said yes" moment. 

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There are several questions that should at least be discussed before you agree to give your lives to each other. Questions that are obvious and questions that are not so obvious that can be surprisingly detrimental. I'll expand on two I mentioned last week:

Holidays.

An example of a not-so obvious one is holidays. When you're dating and so in love you can't bare the thoughts of being separated for more than a minute, holidays are no problem. Both your families "understand" and are more than willing to accommodate the extra person, or allow their son or daughter to be with their love this year...after all, they'll probably be getting married. Even your first married holiday season together is understandable, everyone is willing to let you do your thing. But after that, lifelong expectations, traditions and rituals come into play and if your families are both unwilling to budge, the pull can be catastrophic. Add long distance and grandchildren to that mix and it's over.

UNLESS you've been communicating well all along the way. There is no right answer; you have to do what works for you, but you need to communicate with each other what you want individually and what you're willing to budge on, then communicate that clearly and sincerely to your families. Being able to do this before the big day makes the transition that much smoother. 

Children.

Most couples broach the topic while they're still dating. One wants 3 kids, one thinks they want 1, but they assume they'll figure it out along the way. They say "I do." All of the sudden the one who wanted 3 realizes they're ready to begin trying right away, "why not?" they ask, "it'd be fun to still be young as the kids grow up." Panicked, the one who "thinks" they wanted 1 suddenly isn't so sure. "Right now? Like, now? I thought we'd wait at least 5 years before we got there...what about our jobs? What about money? What about living our lives while we're still young?" Reluctantly they agree to start trying. Five years, a surgery, ovulation regimens and fertility pills later, it's actually not possible. Now what? Devastated, do we foster? Adopt? Locally? Over seas? How will we pay for that? Four failed adoptions after that you find yourselves in the middle of mine and A.J.'s story. :)

If we had not discussed from the very beginning whether or not we'd be willing to adopt, he might have second guessed marrying me when we discovered we couldn't have our own. I was open from the beginning that my "system" was a little tricky, so we had discussed that it might be a possibility. He was open from the very beginning that he really wanted 3 kids. Had I not known that I would have been totally freaked out when he wanted to start trying right away, but I knew his heart and I knew he'd make a great dad. I was terrified, but I knew we'd figure it out together. Eleven years later we're still figuring it out. I've changed my mind a dozen times and he's been the most patient husband anyone could ever hope for; I don't deserve him. For now we have an awesome pup and more than a couple businesses to run so we're content, but it's important to keep the communication open.

These are just two of the questions we go over when we're sitting in front of a couple and you can see how complicated they alone can be. There are dozens of things to consider. You owe yourselves and your marriage a fighting chance. Pre-marital counseling isn't going to solve all your problems, it doesn't make it divorce-proof, but it definitely shows you the value of communication and what you can accomplish together if you're willing to put in the work and stay humble. 

Many officiants require it as a part of their services, most at least offer it, you should definitely choose it if you get the chance. It's worth every penny. After all, you're spending thousands of dollars on this one day of your marriage, if it falls apart in 2 years those thousands were a total waste. If you're officiant doesn't offer it, talk to me, I'll be happy to make some recommendations.